Just Like Jurassic Park

Seeing as our self-drive 4WD eco tour was scheduled for 10 AM that morning, we decided to try a tier 3 Gengar raid right before we left. The Gengar raid did not go as planned (read: we failed) and we arrived a few minutes late to Delta Discovery. It turns out it didn’t matter much, because Delta Discovery is just a guy in a big shed renting out his two electric off-roading vehicles. The people renting the other vehicle arrived 15 minutes late and it didn’t matter. It was a relaxed experience.

Delta Discovery is a pretty professional establishment despite being relaxed, considering this guy’s whole business is based on just two vehicles. The vehicles are electric (thus the “eco tour”), from Arkansas, and cost $40k each. Unclear if NZD or USD. He rents them out twice a day for a pretty penny and you get to drive yourself without a guide. Each vehicle has a tablet screen that shows the route with your GPS location so that you can make sure you’re on the right path. Andy (the guy) can see all your data on his screen back at the home base and can send you messages if necessary. The setup was high tech.

Andy gave us the rundown on everything and then set us free. The circuit takes between 1.5-2.5 hours but there really wasn’t a rush. I drove the first half and boy was it fun! As we drove the course, the tablet shouted out fun facts about the area every once in awhile. It also hollered out warnings, like “stay away from the pools on the left because the gravel there is soft” or “turn on 4WD mode as you go across this stream.” There were quite a few stream crossings. I liked those a lot.

Have you seen Jurassic World? It wasn’t a very good movie and it had a particularly problematic female lead, but it was fantastical and made us think of velociraptors as cute little dogs. The point is, the drive felt like we were on a Jurassic Park ride, minus the dinosaurs trying to kill us. So like, the day before the events of the movie play out and the dinosaurs escape (as usual). We were there for when the dinosaurs were still in the cage.

We stopped and switched drivers at a location that Andy called a cul-de-sac in “the middle of nowhere.” Hayden drove us through to the end. We took about 2 hours to do the whole thing and it was totally awesome. Delta Discovery was well worth the cost.

Hayden: I liked the autonomy. This probably wouldn’t be possible in the U.S. It was certainly, you know, unique to drive a brand new off-roading vehicle unsupervised around the beautiful valley.

I ate leftover pasta and red sauce, and Hayden made eggs with salami for the both of us. The rest of the day was relaxed. Hayden went on a run, we did an Ivysaur raid at the waterfront, and we had another freeze dried dinner (Sweet and Sour Lamb). The freeze dried meal was eh. At this point we had one freeze dried meal remaining — Beef and Pasta Hotpot. Hayden and I are terrified of it, as we’d had it before on Whanganui and it had been the worst, even while camping. I refused to throw it away.

Here are some photos of the Glenorchy Waterfront:

In other news, in the evening Hayden noticed a sign on our special park bench saying that cooking is not permitted at the bench and to go to the waterfront instead. We helped create a new rule! There had been lots of complaints about the lack of kitchen at the Glenorchy Hotel, considering that it’s supposed to be a backpackers hostel too. Luckily, we only had one morning left there.

The park bench became abandoned once more, useful to no one, because everyone else eats mediocre hotel food in the garden.

The Hall Report will have something to say about this.

The Hall Report

It is with sadness that I, Rab, announce that Hotel Reviews with RAB has been officially bought out by the Hall Report. The next few blog posts will be a time of transition and we appreciate your understanding during the process. Many of our employees will likely find new homes with the Hall Report and you will continue to receive the openness and truth that Hotel Reviews with RAB was so committed to as a friendly local establishment. Thank you to all of our avid readers.

— Hotel Reviews with RAB, official press release

The Hall Report promises to incorporate the much-loved elements from Hotel Reviews with RAB, and add to that our own special simplicity and directness. With that, we are unveiling the company’s new look:

Your friendly news service, always smiling simply and hitting hard.

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Glenorchy Hotel

The Glenorchy Hotel was disappointing, but we weren’t in Glenorchy for the hotel. We were there for the beautiful area. So it did the job.

Our room was adjacent to a small general store and the [hotel] restaurant. Lots of noise from foot traffic and voices made it into our room. Two of the nights that we were there, there was live music playing. The bar had a fun atmosphere. You could tell that the owners put a lot more effort into the bar and restaurant than the rooms.

I enjoyed having a bathroom in our room, but I am getting really tired of those sinks that have different faucets for cold and hot water. Nobody uses that anymore. It doesn’t sound sanitary to fill up the basin and wash your face.

[Anonymous travel companion] discovered that one of the hotel employees had posted a 5 star review for the hotel on Google. And he was addressing the complaints from another customer’s poor review, but ended up insulting her. We flagged the review as conflict of interest.

When we were sitting outside on the park bench cooking our meals, oftentimes we would see cars pull up into the gravel driveway and, like, slide to a stop. One person even accidentally floored it in reverse and then slammed on the brakes, causing an embarrassing ruckus. The hotel should pave their driveway or people in Glenorchy should learn how to drive on gravel.

— Hayden, talent at the Hall Report

Overall Rating: “Disappointing sounds too sad, it’s not like we had high expectations for it — underwhelming.”

Talent at the Hall Report?? I AM the Hall Report!

— Hayden, talent at the Hall Report